Living in a world where I have choices to overload myself with responses to respond.
I am filled up, my bottle if full and where am I supposed to go now. An overload of responses not knowing how to respond is entering my awareness and I feel I am not alone. Is it just a form of trauma, or the high sensitivity we all have with some not allowing to feel they have it too. Am I witnessing a part of overconsumption of the options we created in this life that we try to find more minimalistic forms of creations. So, we are ending up with a world unable to gasp the difference between our nature telling us something and the systems we created pushing us further into the complexity build up in new languages to identify with. Is the root of movement only available within our heads and out of that perspective unable to reflect.
My texts are complicated because I combine too much, the forms of rhymes and poetry are influencing the visibility of our world. The wholeness is there but confused between the systems influencing my feelings from nature. My language is the only form of stability, and it leads me to slow down or maybe to go to fast. Overload of senses is the escape into my world of words, like I am doing now here in this form of my writings. The complex words and forms of concepts are reaching limits of my own agency and by that the fear of being judged, so I ask for help and is that help coming from a machine. A machine that learned to scramble our words in forms we think in how we understand them, to feel satisfied not to try the responses from our own reality.
Do I need to check it or am I building confidence within myself that the words being used in the forms of order I think makes a clarification. So that the words being used are bringing clarity toward myself. Maybe to others a sure thing to understand and reflecting that back to me in how I alienated myself from the verbal languages we try to use to communicate that with. What do we want to communicate, our needs maybe or is this the survival trap why we created the verbal language in the first place.
So, like u see I am writing about the bigger picture to confuse myself from a reality I cannot call reality anymore. Between struggling in life or just participating within the systems we call society, that I feel actually… alive. Looking in this madness of a world that builds around the resource economy to compete to be faster. That I realise I am here to be slowing down, being alive within my body not on purpose of needs but a choice I make to feel peace. And by finding more peace I become to realise we are living between systems that created this world of infinite competition leading us nowhere, and by using this word it will lead us to being now here. Now here, before or after the collapse of our situation the world is creating now.
Is this a journal I provide to others too or do I write it in a form that I satisfy myself of being here with my thoughts. Am I still using concepts and metaphors others don’t understand or am I running away from responses I get from others. More question because of the dept I create towards myself to see a world in war with itself. With the humans we created from nature and miracles to have a physical body, that we are not aligned with our body. Me, or we all are a form of how I notice that I am busy with that change to go from linear time to no time connecting with my connected alignment. Reinsuring not to check it up if writings are becoming part of my lifestyle in how I use my words and how I let them follow each other up.
It is creating an illusion that I understand but it is a form of chaos because I am in chaos of overstimulation, and is this overstimulation happening to more of us… but we are not aware of it. Is this the whole system of being in a city, and how is the urban environment stimulating us towards a world of more rules and laws that nobody understands. How do we realise reality without movement between nature and knowing to live within these natural borders of law and order. And is this by creating my own laws and order to come back to a life without overload of responses in how I know how I want to response because I am not living in chaos.
With these conclusions I am busy with confidence and building a world I believe in without the choices coming from the systems I have been born in. The real disconnection is not anxiety; it is your agency and confidence to build upon that agency that the choices you make are not ego driven to help u out of anxiety. But nature driven to help you out of anxiety. So, with his I say; that the moment we are building our forms of agency in a world of choices without the connection of natural ecology, that we are building a world of ego driven fear not to live in our personal and natural anxiety. Concluding that the ego is taking care of us not to live in fear but that’s a survival instinct, a traumatisation of options we sense but not knowing how to except. Finding forms of responding towards these feelings that we created systems to become blinded within the rules of order. With this looking at the people who are being born in these orders of fear build, ego environments of our homes or war resulted city’s. That we are unable to find root in our senses to know there is a form of stability within our senses coming from nature to except nature within us. And this is because we created school systems to feed the economy blindfolded because we don’t have any other comparison because we are Joung, unable to find agency without the systems we created here in the west, or maybe the whole world.
So, this is a realisation to finally communicate because I am healing from these environments that brought ego pushed, senseless systems to convert us into machines. And in the beginning these machine-like environments where us humans, and because of the industrial technology we outcompete ourselves with our physical human labour. Looking to support the economy build up on a capitalistic system, we created an unaware drive of needs to even go faster. And to go faster we impacted our human intellectual labour systems, that we are ending up with an empty feeling. And that empty feeling wants to be filled, with the question if that will be ego driven or a unity driven solution. Because only within the community we can build unity, but we lacked to communication for more complex systems spread out over the world. Looking at the max community of knowing people what is about and around the 150 people we say. That it leads us to the biggest change ever within our society now.
My conclusion is that we are looking for another system within the natural boundaries of this planet earth. Looking at the state we are in now, this change is happening and is happening within me to. Becoming part of the whole is to step out of the system that I have been born in to recognise we need change. But that change can only happen if I am healed from these systems in the first place, otherwise I fall back in the feeling of an ego driven force coming from these systems. To break the loop, we need to bend the systems because if we break the systems (by making war) we are unable to flow towards a more unity within the population of humans that are connected with nature. To know that competition is a copy of nature and in how we like to find a solution not to compete, to find energy within our human body without making war to find energy.
So, how do we influence this physical body not to make choices to be ego driven and not to create anxiety of sensual overload, unable to respond because of systematise trauma. Can I say what it is, no… But I can say that war and violence is not the solution, and I think what solutions we have and where we can go to. And that is where our need is, to find ceremonial healing before the solution brings light in how we communicate. With the communication not created from our responses of anxiety but out of a form of intuition. (or I think it will be a new word we create when the moment of that reflective action is there) Because to learn intuitive ways we need to understand if it is not the anxiety of our ego wanting to survive and the flow of intuition of higher senses not being overloaded to respond in the systems we created to live in now.