So this will be my third time I am trying to write this piece, I didn’t find the words and didn’t take the time for it. Hi welcome here in me trying to find myself in Berlin, and for me now just about one week. Only one week I am here, and the feeling when I walked into the Bürgeramt Sonnenallee, the feeling started in the waiting room, my thought felt on the way I am going to live here. The silence last week came true to feel I am here, alone. But I already have someone who calls me to meet, yes the same one I met Saturday night, and I like him. Liking in a friendship and maybe the benefits of it…

So sitting there in the waiting room to get your steuer-id and more official things what will have another story, yea sitting here looking at a screen were your number need to get on. Luckily I did make an appointment three weeks before so I waited only for ten minutes and here I am, telling the story that I don’t have the right papers for my room to admit I am living there… but I made it to get my steuer-id and the papers to get my post delivered on the right address, now I need to look for a room where I can make my official living address. So to get that it is worth trying to see what is going to happen with the contacts that I have here. So fingers crossed for an miracle?

The feeling is here, seeing and feeling that I am here right now, I am knowing that I am not going to leave for the first three months now. Where can I find myself here in this city and how can I make my feelings new. Even before saying I have nothing planned before I came to here, it is not completely true. I planned the necessary things (like the Bürgeramt), looked up some places and did try to find a dance school by looking on the internet. Maybe because I missed out my last day of dancing before I came to here, and when I did my last dance lesson at Kumulus. It did felt so good that I cannot miss out to explore my dance feelings. So to look out for a place where I can have some lessons, I find out that in the region of my place is a school. Searching for a same thing that I did in the Netherlands (modern dance), after searching I couldn’t find the same thing. But I found a place I thought I am going to like. So I ended up in a place called Motion*s were I could follow some jazz dance, and a lot of other dance things, even acrobatic lessons (: maybe.

Always wen this feeling is in me or saying when you are going to a new place were u never went before, especially to express yourself? How do you feel? How often will you do it, and how new is that feeling. In my last three years I felt a lot of this feelings, standing there for the first time with all the excitement in you. And I love that feeling in me, not always easy, (I think I will never get used to it) but I like it. Going in, asking were and what, and then wen u are ready for it, the flow will bring you. So here I am standing in front of the door, it says Motion*s on it, I am walking through the door and ended up in another hallway, finding a door with a rope, it is tight around the door to keep it open. Looking inside and in a surprise, (how lonely the hallway was) just walking in and standing around some parents watch their children dance, and seeing some other people stretching on the bars near the mirror. Walking towards the desk, I saw some papers, two different dances with the same time on it, on one paper is written belly dance and on the other paper is written Lyrical-Funky-Jazz dance. So looking on the title of this blog, are guessing it? I did not choose for the belly dance. I put on my name on the paper of Lyrical-Funky-Jazz dance, payed nine euro for the lesson and walked into the ladies room to change my clothes. I put on my dance clothes existing of a green/turquoise legging and a black trouser, often I dance on bare feet or having some socks on. I met an girl from France, and like the psychology thing is happening, u bind and trust factor around the one u think have a same common thing, so same country, same city, same color or other thing like both your first dance lesson. So yea nice to meet you, and nice that u choose the same class as I did, still feeling new with all this I walked out of the room into the room with the parents. Walking to the bars near the mirror and going to sit down and do some stretching, just thinking how I it will go on.

After ten minutes I stand up and walked into the room were a lot of people are going to, it is a busy class, like twenty people. We have the room that is seven meters by fifteen, enough space but wen u are here with 15 it is a little bit comfortable to have more space. I ended up on the back to watch all the other people and see me in front of a big mirror, here I am standing I cant wait, how will it go and how hard will it be, we are all waiting for Sonia Bartuccelli. She is our dance teacher, and with her long curly black hair she is walking in, speaking German and making a professional impression of herself, that she is here for a good 90 minutes lesson. She puts the music on, and in a walk from the door, across the room and putting on the music went by in thirty seconds, so fast in a way of starting end here we go. After a warming up for twenty minutes I saw that I really need to catch up with my body and stretchings of it, everyone is doing a split and I cannot keep up with that, things in my mind are telling me yes, I can do it to (:

After this lesson I looked to myself in the mirror with a feeling of yes I found my dance lesson on the spot, maybe harder than expected, even for a beginners class… yes we can go up three steps more in difficulties. My feeling in having fun to dance and see me practicing more to compete with myself on a higher level I cant wait do come again. What I lovely feeling is going on into my body, I feel so good and excided to be here. And I feel even more, I feel a way of sadness in me about my mom, maybe a good feeling of that way I am looking how I can stand here on my own.

So yea how are my feelings about that part that came up, my day went a little bit like a way of flowing through my things I need to do and what I want to do. I started this piece of text in the morning after my appointment at the bürgeramt, I ended up in a coffee bar close from where I live, and I liked it, the breakfast, good strong espresso, the peace of sitting in room that looks nothing like Berlin, and the way I tried to get my new phone number running. Afterall it didn’t work, now so I really need to wait till I have my papers ready with my German identity. But sitting in ‘good morning Monday’ did give a nice feeling of having a good coffee always on footsteps from your home. So to continuing my writhing’s further, I am now sitting at the clock of seven in the evening in a café, that is in the same street when walk out of my door, it is called the Wranglerstrasse and it is the same way how they call this region of berlin, the Wranglerkiez. And now I am drinking beer, a Berliner IPA called vagabond and it is made here in Berlin. I like it, same as I mostly like all the IPA beers, a kind of a same proses what will give about the same way of taste. So yea I have a nice café with a lot of draft beers on the menu, so say hi to HOPFENREICH. Maybe a little bit weird to sit here with my laptop, dark brown café with candles on the tables, candles that they put in old lovely beer bottles.

So my feeling to tell about how I feel especially a bit of my mom are gone, but what I want to say about that feelings is more the way I always heard her talk about me and the way a city works, the way a village is better, or that small city like Maastricht will be ok. But now feeling and standing in a choice I made (I love it) (maybe I will never return?) (can I say that now?) so my thoughts are going crazy in a lovely feeling to be here and I love it to go outside and explore my world around me, I hope I can fine more friends just on a go or with the dance and swimming I did on Tuesday (just going to Stadtbad Neukölln) but now I hope to get an conversation here in the bar where I am, after I close down this written piece and I hope that u like it.

Me, I am liking how my day is ending and how the days of thoughts passed bye, now feeling the rest in me to find my way, a way to explore more than just a normally habit, follow my uncomfortable liability in my pathway and just do it, feeling lovely, kisses.