Welcome back, thinking, um reading (:

Yes welcome back here at the Jacob-und-Wilhelm-Grimm-Zentrum, wow I like this feeling sitting here. So yea after more than a half year ago, looking back to my holiday here in Berlin, spending most of my time in here. I actually did read a lot here and tried to get my psychology course done, by studying the lessons I got from the LOI. That holiday was the best here in Berlin, I did fell in love of the city and the way I don’t want to go back home, I did get that feeling a lot every time I visited Berlin. And now I am here for life or better to say first for two years, but the feeling I got, when I walked back in here was nice. I did tried to get in wen I was here but they did changed a lot in the summer, so it was not so easy anymore to store your stuff and come in, now with the lockers open again you can store your stuff and taking place on one of the seats here in this lovely building. And yes I know it actually for Humboldt students only, but I am only sitting here in the evening now and often there is space enough. Yes I like sitting here, often I am reading or trying to study something. Not that I am busy with a study, but when I reading an interesting book I am trying to get it in my head and knowing how.

So this time my day started for the first time with a nice sleepover from twelve in the night till eight in the morning, yes my first time I slept that good in two weeks now. So keep on going to not go out every time till ten o clock in the morning, yes my Saturday was nice and my Sunday I stayed in bed for the whole day.

Ok starting again to keep my day without distraction, so my Wednesday started well, I woke up did eat my breakfast (yoghurt wit pomegranates and a mix of seeds) went under a shower… a shower were the top is not connected to the wall so you need to hold it… yes I know… putting on my clothes on and a little bit of make-up. I did start my day in goodmorningmonday with a doppio, I started to read in the book ‘’Start with why’’ written by Simon Sinek, I following him since 2010 so it is not the first time I know of him, and I finally started to read this book what he gave out in 2009. And by knowing it all did to happen I did brought it with me in my suitcase. After 43 pages my nice called, I closed my book, payed 3 euros for the doppio and started to talk with her. First question to her wen I walked out of goodmorningmonday was, if I need to go right or left, she said left so here I go walking to the bridge crossing the spree, and wen I’ll walk over I did a left again. All the way were the wall is standing with all the graffiti on it, in all the way of talking, maybe a little bit to much about me. It came to a happen that I stand in the Friedrichstrasse, no I didn’t walked, I did take the S-Bahn to come here. I walked in the big bookstore after ending the call with my nice, and searched something to read, everything mostly in Deutsch (German) so after a couple of books, I find a place to sit. I did read here for a couple of ours and at three o’clock I started to get back home because my dance lessons are starting at five in the afternoon. After visiting the Lidl and while I did eat a apple on the way home, I did had a good feeling about the evening. My dance lessens at Motion*s were lovely again and I really like the way of putting a lot of effort in my stretching and dance, I need to say Jazz is a little bit out of my comfort zone in doing, but I really like it and love to try these dance steps more often. With a little bit more sweat on my body than last time, I really need to bring a towel for a shower after this dancing.

So without a shower I started to go to the Jacob-und-Wilhelm-Grimm-Zentrum located near the station Friedrichstrasse, after settling in and starting to read the same book as this morning, I came to the thinking of the place I am, and how I need to find a purpose what I want to do here, so telling a little bit about my days before this one.

When my thoughts are going crazy even on Monday and on Tuesday it really felt horrible, not to say what I am doing here, no I like this place. It is more I did do nothing that day, I only slept and eat trough out the day, and even my date I canceled on Monday night, ok I went to the movie (weathering with me). So yes it can be worse, but my feeling was a little bit disturbed by, I am kicking off that I have rest in my body, I have nothing to do and I kind of miss work? Addiction to work I think, or something about a discipline what you need to do, and here i standing with nothing to do, feels empty u know. So my life can not be only with watching YouTube or twitch (Dota 2 ESL) and eat, sleep, rave repeat kind of stuff. No after ten days I felt I need to watch for a job, on Monday I did go to see where I need to work and it felt a little bit disappointed. Even sitting at the bakery in the same street, with a job offer on the door, my feelings weren’t that great.

Ok I did something else what I really like talking about, but it will be an other topic and you will not getting a notification from it, it is even not standing on the frontpage, and I am still thinking how I need to tell it, or do I need to tell it? So you will find it in the category (tempting things)

Ok back on track, again, I am making a mess about this peace of blog.

After all I did sit in my room on this lazy eat, sleep repeat thing. After the clock of nine in the evening I starting to follow up a message, I did get the information if I need a job, look at Zalando. So here on my lazy day I looked for some jobs directly on the site of Zalando, I found something with a Netherlands translation thing, and after more searching I found the job Copywriter. Hmm I know what it is or what is it really? Never thought it could be a job. But after searching I found out that this can be something for me, after all it did made me a little bit enthusiastic. So maybe my night went well because of it, and now sitting at the clock at half twelve, still on this table here at Grimm, writhing about, how I did write my piece two you, with a lovely thought about trying. Yes I am trying to write my personal letter to Zalando, and when I am having internet it will be send away.

Ok it’s not that new and not my first try for a job here in Berlin, but the feeling to see how my mind started this day with trying something else did give me a lot of energy. Looking forward to what can happen and how I try to read more or making more thoughts in my head come true. I am going to end this piece, my head is feeling tiered and I am taking the U6 and U3 back home now, so when I am home I will put it online.

I am feeling happy, and this day felt even better than I had in my last ten days. Looking forward to myself in this lovely Berlin were I have time enough to explore myself and walk into thing I never did before. Feelings to stand here on my own with my own decision are great and giving me a feeling I should done before, that’s why my mom often comes up in my thoughts how she said that a city is not necessary to have or live in. And I am thinking how I really missed a city in my life, and now I am really seeing how glad I am standing here. Even with that smile on me looking to my mom I can do this without you. End hard to tell for you, even with an ending line as this, feelings in me are giving me power how things changed in my life, after my mom died five and a half year ago. I am feeling so relieved after all, even I know she is never coming back.

I just came back, and while walking and dancing in the U-Bahn. I want to go out? 😛