May 8th, 2024:

We just sold our house; I am relieved of something I cannot describe. Nothing bad, nothing good, its still undecided. It’s one thing for sure, it’s a chapter that is closed, it’s a part that brings new perspectives to my now. It is in a form of money that’s being made by holding on for eleven years, holding on because I started something big, and it didn’t work out as planned. So are we giving up, or did we learn something in who we are. And are we ready for the next chapter that is forming around me, how mobile are we with the imaginary perspectives of living life.

I am in a small café after signing my papers for the house, and it was something we will maybe do once in our life’s. It is a commitment to something long, the effort to relate to a place to build your relationship with the environment. How wide do we look and how mobile are we in exploring life. It is a perspective of safety and of being locked to the situation of the place and its neighbors. The climate, the culture, its bubble of reality we shape together, and how we show a part of life to each other. The world is moving, and we feel scared of how small we are. How to describe the feeling is hard, it is strange, it is for me indescribable of emotions that are going everywhere. It feels like freedom again, it feels like a new beginning to let go of the old and start with the knowledge we have for a new journey. And so, in this café Hase I am connecting to an old me that went on a story to live in Berlin, a little bit of four years ago I left. I left the house to my renter and I started a new chapter in life. This life in Berlin is giving new views in how to live and it is being a rollercoaster so for, and dammed this rollercoaster is telling life to me. I enjoy it and it gives me the creeps of freedom that sometimes becomes chaos. And out of that chaos it’s time to create art, art that can fail, but is the same as life. Who doesn’t try, who doesn’t fail, who is locked in life by others. And that’s the rollercoaster I am in. Do I want to settle down like I thought eleven years ago, or am I trying new perspectives of life?

Here I am, saying a goodbye to a place where allot started, its Aachen and close to Maastricht. It’s a city in Germany and it created a new fairy tale for me. Half in the hands of myself, and half of it in the people I met, I dated, I flighted with, and lost in the battle of being friends. We look back to the memory’s it created by realizing I am alive, and alive I am. See with my own eyes, still blinded by others, and more opened by myself. The courage to create your own autonomy, the breaking of my heart with my mom and the building of my own. When do I become mom, or dad, or grownup to take care of my children. To give them a view of life, a view I look true my glasses and when they are going to build their own autonomy. That they to break the heart what they have with me and creating their own. Their own life for the generations to come.

We are blinded by the time that is passing by, and the riddle of life will continue with or without us. The sparkle is in us to bring piece by piece more peace to the world, but most of it got lost by translation in who we are. Explanation of life is hard and complex, so maybe the riddle is the fairytale in us. The tale we give a sparkle to, to be free in how we sustain the generations to come.

That is my new chapter, the foundations of generations to come, what can I create that is not a child in flesh and bones, living like a miracle that we call nature. It is the foundation to build life for us, between the sustainable words and reality we create. And the words that generations after us, that cannot translate in what we want to see. It is the exploration we need to see by ourselves, by the autonomy of our own heart to follow the steps we are willing to fear, are willing to take true the reality of life. Some follow rabbits after rabbits, soma call it AI or the books they read, the movies we make, the media we create. So how do we create ourselves between the choices we learn as a kid, in our environment, in the memory we have when we are a kid. That heart is bound to memory we had, and we know we lose it if the will in us wants to be free. So how free can we behave in the building blocks we create for ourselves to live in.

Maybe history wanted to tell us this, and it was unable to do it for everyone. Maybe because we are afraid of our history that is bound to our memory. And that memory is hard to set new. Maybe it is time to build new memory and remember the old like a book we wrote, and what us and me keep safe in the fairy tale of life. Are you open enough to explore new memories?

Or maybe you want to follow my new memory.