This is a way I really like, KitKat?
Can I start with a same title? with my feelings in what I do in KitKat. After me saying just what I posted last time, even not knowing when I will post this. And even not really knowing if I need to spend more time in that Club here in Berlin. I am Talking about Club KitKat, it is a club what started in 1994. U can read the rest on wiki. Yes I really like this place, it is just for me not like a sex club. It is like a club what I can visit and just dance on techno music, and do whatever I like. And yes u can have sex here and do a lot more, even in all these things I really like. Even in this way of finding myself and looking around I a club like this, or Insomnia, or Berghain are one of the most famous one. But in the way I like KitKat it is in a way like people can be. Just standing there having a feeling of being open in what we all can like, and yes I like it to. Maybe I like it so much, even more than the common people, and even in saying it. After I had an operation of my new neo-vagina, I did had a thought it will go away a little bit more. But my thought was wrong, it grow even more in me, even so much more than it ever was before in my life, and I am really, really loving it that I maybe need to calm down. It was so hard for mee looking around for people who can use there body on a same way I never ever expected it is possible for me. And now I can do it, it gives me a feeling of that dream is becoming a reality, even it is a dream in a dream.
So yes my last weekend I used some drugs, and I did had a lovely night with it, and saying this so in public is not always good, I think. But I need to let it out of me and I am proud to say that it is so new for me to try it, because in how I feel now, I feel that I can try it with out of fear. I feel so much freedom in me, after my past three years gone by with a lot of struggles, I just starting to live here in Berlin. Just starting to feel so much more freedom, I need to say, it was not possible without the dead of my mother. But it is the freedom that is coming from my inner self to explore the world around me, things around my body and soul what I can give a way of trying it out. So here I am trying it out to do things that is in my head, in my head waiting for so long. And it is finally coming trough to have sex on a female way, I mean of a way that people treat u as a female, and having sex with u as a female. It is really hard to meet that for me, even in KitKat its often hard, but it is outside KitKat so much harder. Maybe that is one thing I really like here in KitKat, I like the most people who are inside. So I did wait long enough outside this time and talking how my 15th of February went. It is the feeling how I started sober without of drugs or alcohol, but my body did felt so open and horny. And when I am in a club like KitKat I can’t help it, I like that people can touch me and I can touch back, just let your mind go with a flow of respect. Letting go in a look of eye contact and saying with your yes you can touch me. Letting go while dancing and having fun to meet new people. Meeting people who are not afraid of letting go the feelings that we want to have a nice time. Wen u let go your imagination and other people do that to you can have an amazing time here, even so much better in how your evening can be. Instead of planning things, here in KitKat you can let it go and give other people the respect, and make love with all of that. So last night I did find some people and I did party long enough to go home with other people to giving us all together even more time and fun.
So that’s one thing I really like, what I also really like is a bondage like feeling of a rope bunny. And like it is Saturday here at KitKat there is even for that a possibility to do that here. So you can guess it, I really want to be that bunny. A bunny what can hang there in the room where everybody can watch u. Where everybody can get horny about you or they do not, it’s the way how I can feel open to hang there end letting things go. Letting go over control and letting go how people can fantasize over you hanging there naked. Yes let go over a control and feel yourself, I really want to know how I will feel while hanging there. A cant wait to let me go on this specific way, a way over letting someone control you in a bit of different way. That different way I think I like, and maybe this is not for everyone.
Closing this first part over me in KitKat and the way I made a begin in telling things I never ever did so in public. I defiantly liking it to explore more of me in this world, a world that became open for me after I did come open for myself in who I am. And now I feel to explore more of this, and I love that Berlin is giving me a chance in it to do it.