Another week another feeling with making new friends and the luck off being me. I am getting in the mood and way of doing things here in Berlin, and now it’s the realisation becoming more and more to how things changed. I am here, here in Berlin and it’s a place I feel new and good. In a way of being myself and the way it is difficult to start somewhere new, and while the times passed and feeling difficulties to get started. And my last week is the week that looks like I am here, my start is over and I am beginning to get more comfortable with this life. Getting a new job to feel that I can survive the winter, still easy going with the jobs I have and becoming new to an Italian family.
Welcome my lovely Italian colleagues and friends here in Sotto, speaking Italian doing Italian and feel welcome to a new place. Starting to work with new people and new feelings here at Sotto is bringing me to that way that I am here in Berlin doing my thing in what I like and being welcome. I loved my crazy week again and I can’t wait to evolve more in this life, even of it is just for that two years. Yes I still feel that I need to explore more of the world and when I feel the chance to do it after my room contract is ending I will grab the chance to explore more of the world, but now I am here and it is becoming clear in ways that I did make a nice choice and a good one to come to Berlin. Giving myself to start over with new possibility’s end finding new reads to walk on. And now I am sitting after my work outside on the balcony of the Rosengarten bar, it felt good to give myself time to write even wen it is one o’clock in the night. Thinking how I got this job and my new one at Sotto and feeling life in myself, the exploration to be here and I love this development in myself off this new environment.
But my search to an office job is not over and that explains my job interview what I have today, it will be Wednesday at ten o’clock. Still something I know and still new to do, feeling that I can do it and how it can change my life perspective in a good way of making knowledge in parts I never did. Making myself open to do work in another environment.
Where am I and how do I stand here, I feel good even in the things that are still in development. But my life on this moment is here in a good way and in a way I feel lucky in the things I do, swimming outside in lakes is happening more often and I feel a summer vibe in me that was there when I was 14 and 15, feeling time is nowhere and having the time of my life in hanging out searching to a true self. I am feeling how I live like a bird with time that will end somewhere in the future, but now I am here living in times that are like the summer in ‘’Call me Bye Your Name’’ I never expected this for myself and I know I am close in doing it, feeling so free of realisation that it is happening and that’s so beautiful. I really love how things are going and even the struggles that are there, still that time with my mom is there and it is still confronting me with pain. Living in such a beautiful world in myself feeling free, but that pain can confront me so hard, will it ever leave.