Lying in my bed with the feelings of a dream, not the best dream and not a real nightmare but the feeling is there that it could be. How often do I dream and in what case do I talk about it? And with that thought I am writing now in GoodMorningMonday, it has been a while that I was here. Are things coming together or am I doing more that time is not always available to explore. So yes, I worked last week for about 40 hours and that’s a big change in the 12 that I am normally do. So yes, I did spend less time in exploring. But the exploring I did is feeling really good and its in me that is feeling good in where I am standing now and how I look back at my first five months here in Berlin.

Did I have a feeling that something changed in my life so drastically these five months or is it feeling about the same. For one thing I feel a drastically change in me is myself being in a world that is so open that I become free with thoughts and more open to everyone. It is giving me a real big change in feelings and a really good feeling. I am meeting people to connect me as a friend and people who are good enough to meet only once. The friends I make are giving me that drastically change in me what I love and it is setting me free in it. I love the world where I am in and I am getting better in how I feel and what I want to Pursuit. Pursuing things are still different and hard to find what direction feels good, being rounded by tartest and allot of friends I make are artist in all kind of ways I am feeling myself the need to explore in the scene more and more.

Even the change in work is there but it feels the same as I worked all my life, its working in a bar. But the feelings of people and colleagues around me are making the biggest change and with a real good joy of it. And in the way how I respond and how people response back is the things that are giving me so much more feeling in life and the joy of being together. Sometimes I feel me like I was eighteen but not in a disturbed way of how I was back then but with the feelings that I want to live and enjoy the things around me in exploring. Its such a big change in how I am standing in life now than sixteen years before. That change is giving be my dreams back and my gut feeling that I am enjoying these things so good. Still the big city is that change to be in, it is me that is open for it to do and maybe the thought of it: why did I not do it earlier. Maybe the thought that many have and it can be good or bad. But I m doing it now and it is feeling great. And so I am looking forward in the change I made a half year ago and I am standing in a world that is getting up and feels the joy of getting on a train and enjoy or stay on the Peron and do the same things u did al your life in feelings safe. That train I took four years ago and I passed allot of persons and I am still on that train. Sometimes that stop train and sometimes that fast one. And my in the future the even faster Japanese one.

So, in the feelings in what I am doing it feels really good and maybe corona helped I a way to start with a slower pace and maybe it is that what I needed. Even in finding a job somewhere else than Berlin is part of it but that is still in a begin state. I think I feel more energy in my body and the people around me are giving me it.

And now the weekend is in front of me, it is kind of a working time because I work all days and I am having birthday party of Aron. And it is Aron who asked me in September if I would be ready for a big city like berlin and it’s the first Tim after we saw each other in the WG were he is living with others. It’s the WG were I slept an joined the good feelings of being together. And now we are meeting again and I am looking forward to hug him and tell stories.  And now I am thinking about someone I starting to like more, it is am someone I met at a meeting and the talks we have are feeling more than good. Doing some dinner together and feel each other hair a bit tighter. I hope we can find each other in a way that is more than just friends.

All these people around me are giving me power In who I am and in what I am spreading around.

It is even giving me feelings to go for something that people who know me are thinking in how I change when I am doing it. From saying no, I will never do it to the moment that I was thinking about it maybe and if than it would be one really big one. And now I am going to feel how things are reaching out that I am starting with a first and my flying dragon changed to something else, it still has wings but it is spreading out something else. But that’s later, it’s a Jellyfish with allot of colours what is in my head now that are coming out of a bottle what contains molecule structures in how we are built in this world and how it changed my life because we know about it. Its nature and it flows. I am flowing and I want to spread it with how a jellyfish is flowing. So, is this my first tattoo?